class is in session

one of my goals in living here (i still wince at those words- "living here"- makes it sound so permanent!) was to take a class at Bucknell, out of a simple desire to keep my brain stimulated. since i am still unable to work full time (or even part time), i tend to feel unproductive and unchallenged. while it has freed up time to stay briefed on current events and world news, which is something i have lacked in the past, i am missing that social interaction work environments bring to the table. (and all the drama/gossip that office hookups and bitchy clients that is served on the side!) so, i decided to go back to school. no, no, no, no, not as a real student- do i look like one of those "professional student" types who spend 15 straight years in higher level education, sleeping on a twin bed and living off of ramen noodles? just the thought of writing papers and studying for finals puts a knot in my stomach. this time, i'll be going back to school for "fun", as a non degree student. (hmmm, i don't know which is worse.)

this spring semester i am auditing abnormal psychology, although i have yet to attend an actual lecture. their semester started incredibly late (wed. the 16th), so i missed the first day of class due to my yearly cape cod trip. but when the plane touched down in williamsport, i began worrying. i really felt like it was my first day of middle school (not a fun 3 years, let me tell you)- and a new kid at that. i was convinced that i would stick out as the old maid in a sea of kindergartners- the cane not helping to dispel that perception. plus, i'm not used to a small school. i come from lecture halls of 200, where you can be completely invisible if you so desire. you could be having a tea party with monkeys and no one would notice. how in the hell was i a going to be invisible in a 30 person class? i changed my outfit at least 5 times.

well, all that and the professor wasn't even there. instead, a representative from danville psych unit held a brief orientation for the "lab" portion of the class (you are assigned a "buddy" from the danville psych floor at the hospital, and you go every monday night for 2 hours to talk to them.) although the professor had given me the green light in participating in this portion of the class, i opted out due to commitment and transportation conflicts on my end. since the orientation didn't apply to me, i saw no reason to waste my time, so i stood up and walked (hobbled) out the door. i'm sure everyone was thinking "ok what's up with the old chick?"

thursday comes, and i go through a scaled down version of tuesday's prep. this time, i managed to find the elevator, and a more inconspicuous entrance to the classroom, but still no professor! his TA (i am assuming she was a TA) popped in a documentary on various psychotic conditions and instructed us to write a short paper on the film and hand in as we left. the documentary profiled (4) patients with manic depression, schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, and severe depression, and followed through progress (or deterioration) for 1 year. it was fascinating and horrifying at the same time. i'm still new at this non-degree thing, and the TA seemed clueless (or careless) as far as my participation in the assignment. doing a short writeup on a film is easy enough, so i drafted a few thoughts in what i hope was legible scrawl and turned it in. (the tremors in my hands have gotten worse and i struggle writing even a grocery list. the only thing that seems to make the tremors stop is to sit on my hands, which isn't always appropriate or even available.)

hopefully, the professor will actually show up for class this week, and i can begin analyzing all of you in my future correspondence. i think all of your problems will make for damn good material.

remember, you can view these postings directly on kit katchat's blog

http://meggerv2.blogspot.com/