have you ever thought about the small, mindless, involuntary decisions or choices you make throughout one day? i'm talking really simple. like choosing "lunch at the delhi" pink or "get me to the taj on time" pink at the manicurist (although that choice isn't always so simple), or admiring the checkout girl's headband at the market, or opting for aimee mann over vampire weekend on your iPod playlist. i know that for me, personally, i've noticed that i frequently internally compliment things that others say or do, but not necessarily choose to tell them out loud. (hello, i don't want to divert attention away from myself!) BUT something happened to me today that made me rethink that whole mentality. it came in the form of an email, and it was an invitation to go hiking with part of the J-Crew here in town.

(if you are not in the know, here is the DL- the "J-Crew" refers to friends of jana- as in, her "crew". yes we are street thugs here in central PA, just roll with it.)

to be completely honest, my first reaction was to...
1) roll my eyes,
2) growl, and
3) delete.

incredibly mature, i know, but i'm still embarrassed and annoyed by the fact i can't go hiking or bowling- even tho i never really liked either before my legs stopped working. (reminds me of how nicely this worked out to outfit me w/ a rock solid excuse to get out of those bug filled camping trips.) but after i trashed his invitation, there was another message in my inbox. this time, it was to me only. so instead of paraphrasing, i'm just going to paste his message here:


from: Elias Maurer
to: Meg
date: Tue, May 20, 2008 at 8:24 AM
subject: Hey
8:24 AM (14 hours ago) Reply

Hey Meg, I hope this week is going alittle better for you. I sent out an e-mail about Ricketts Glenn for this Sat. I know the hike thing would be out for you. However if you had a book you were reading of felt like taking a nap there are alot of shade trees in the lower parking lot. It usually takes like 3 hours to hike around the trail if I remember correctly. My memory goes with age just like my hair. I highly recommend Grotto's pizza afterwards. I like getting it when I get to the delaware coast. So just let me know if you would be interested or are feeling up to it. Take Care Elias

so yes, elias, the good citizenship of the blog posting goes out to you, my good friend. (don't let it go to your head, although i'm sure it gives you a couple free passes for least 2 or 3 shitty things you might do over the next few days.)

when i opened up his 2nd email, my head still shaking and my eyes 1/4 the way into the characteristic roll... i realized that he had not only called out the huge pink elephant in the room, but even came up with alternatives so that i could still be included!! i was speechless. my mouth kinda dropped open a bit and i admit... i had a few tears in my eyes. (hey, i cry at american idol! give me a break!) i thought, just a few moments ago, here i was writing off the invite w/out a second thought, lumping it in with yet another activity i couldn't take part in b/c of my energy (or lack thereof), weakness, and improperly working legs. but even tho i had written off the offer, i was dwelling on this inability to do exactly what everyone else could do. since when did i ever want to do what everyone else did?? i certainly didn't think about what i COULD do instead to still join in the fun- and yet he did. and more than that, he took the time to let me know it.

so see? a simple simple simple thing. a 1 minute email- 90 seconds tops. and it made my day. (and my blog- another achievement for you elias!) this is a classic example of what oprah's big give was lacking- THIS is a true random act of kindness. not raising oodles and oodles of cash and calling it a day. (take note producers since i'm sure you read my blog daily!)

now that we have all learned what a random act of kindness is, go forth & conquer. compliment the toll booth lady for her bedazzled jean jacket! wink at that cute little cub scout raising money outside of walmart for his camping trip (well, wait, be careful with that it could be wrongly interpreted from an overzealous protective mother.) tell the guy that repays you for your monthly expense account how much you look forward to those checks... and keep me posted on the results.

oh! wait! i just thought of another hometown act of kindness. rewind to a week ago saturday. i had hit my height of cabin fever, and feeling particularly sorry for myself that i had such successful friends that they were too busy being fabulous to ever call me. (was that over dramatic?) i've driven about a total of.... 4 times in 2008, so i figured why not take a drive, clear my head, and pick up some birthday cards at walmart. i hadn't been outside in days, since i've slept most of april/may away in zombie land, so the whole trip was a little bit of an out of body experience.



anyway, i was standing in the cards, staring aimlessly at the endless rows of fathers day greetings, and betsy came up behind me. she gave me a hug and asked how i was feeling, and you know what i did? basically burst into tears about how i was so tired and missed my friends and just really... insert sob muffled by gulp here... really having a rough time. (i was too busy being a wack job to be properly embarrassed by my meltdown.) you poor girl- how did you ever compose yourself to respond to me? after chatting a few minutes, we said goodbye, and she gave me another hug/pat on the back. that little gesture meant so much. i had been feeling so alone in this town, both literally and figuratively speaking, and her warm and genuine greeting really grounded me.

so technically betsy also qualifies for the good citizenship award- hope you don't mind sharing, elias!

remember, you can view these postings directly on kitkat chat's blog

http://meggerv2.blogspot.com/