blatant self promotion

most of you that read this blog are also part of the yearly ms walk team, the cure crew, so i apologize for the duplication in this posting. however i wanted to share our most recent cure crew email update with you guys. i am beyond excited about our success this year. not to brag, but we are pretty much going to kick ass in this year's ms walk. okay, well i am going to brag. not only have we raised more $ than EVER before, our team is going to be HUGE! in fact, i think that we are going to beat out the other dc walk teams for the largest team honor. (this has been our goal for the past 11 months, since we want to rule the dc walk in every way!)

my parents & i are also going to be taking our skills to the lewisburg ms walk on april 13th, but are focusing our efforts on the dc event, since that is where my original loyalty lies. our participation in the lewisburg event will be mainly in the awareness realm, which is just as important as donations. this year, my brother will be joining the cure crew, which is a monumental occasion. i'm sending him up with elle & her sister sarah, hopefully ensuring both of their appearances- capitalizing on feelings of guilt and obligation.

read on & as always, cheers! (and go heels!!)

To: ALL
From: curecrewdc@gmail.com
Subject: Weekly Cure Crew Update- Important Info Enclosed!
Date: 3.29.08

Can you believe it- the '08 MS Walk is next Saturday, April 5??!! Are you ready?

Message from a Cure Crew Team Captain, Meg Morgensen:
So it's my turn to share why I walk. Well, I'd clearly look like a lazy & ungrateful jerk if I didn't. Hahah, I'm just kidding. On a serious note, I walk for Robert, for Yolanda, for Ilene, for Sandra, for Jana, for Stacie. A lot of names, right? It's that reality that fuels my motivation to walk. Trust me, I don't get a huge joy from putting my poor legs through those 3 miles (although it's much better than 7!!) But honestly, watching the number of people affected by MS on our annual team roster increase each year really pisses me off. They jump out at me in huge glaring print, screaming "YOU AREN'T DOING ENOUGH TO HELP US!" And it's not just people diagnosed with the disease- it doesn't stop there. It includes their family, their coworkers, their best friends, their significant others...

Unfortunately, this increase can't solely be attributed to the popularity of the Cure Crew - although it is the coolest team in the DC metro area. Actually, it reflects a wider trend of increased diagnoses overall- approximately 200 people in the US are diagnosed with MS each week. That brings me back to my original statement- how do we decrease the number of people affected by MS each year? Is it even realistic to think we can eliminate them entirely? Hell yeah it is. And the ways to go about it are inherently simple- I promise. Read on....

1) Raise money to fund research. There are numerous treatments hanging out in the background, in research labs across the country, but it's beyond expensive to get them to the mainstream consumer. The official cost to bring a new prescription drug to market totals, on average, $800 MILLION. OMG!!!! There are currently only 5 treatments available to MS patients. When you take into account that MS is a chronic disease, you are looking at a span of 50+ years to deal with symptoms, relapses, and eventual decline (assuming diagnosis in the mid 20s, which is average.) Having to choose from such a small pool of treatment options is quite depressing, if not downright scary. So clearly funding is a huge portion.

2) Spread awareness. This can be done in any way you can think of- there aren't really any rules on how to do this, and nothing is too insignificant. Obviously join the Cure Crew, that's a given. Encourage your long distance friends to seek out their regional MS Walk. (By the way, if you are taking part in another city's walk, we want to know about it! Email us at curecrewdc@gmail.com.) Talk to your colleagues and boss about MS- I'm sure they have their own connection to the disease. Ask people about how MS affects them- every person has different challenges and struggles, as this disease is so varied from patient to patient. Add a blurb about MS on your email signature, maybe even include a link to the National MS Society web site.

So there you have it. It's a simple equation... Research + Awareness = Cure. It will happen at some point- I will even be so bold as to say in my lifetime this will happen. But it won't happen on its own- it's going to take your help, your support, your active participation. So let's aim high. The walk can just be the tip of the iceberg.

ONLY 8 DAYS LEFT TO DOUBLE YOUR DONATION!!!!

As of March 27, our team has raised an amazing $9,405! But to make your $$ go even further, you have to take advantage of Barb McLucas's offer. She has pledged to donate $0.50 on the dollar (up to $5,000), but the deal is only good if we receive your donations online or via snail mail by Friday, April 4th. To be blunt, it means we need to raise at least $1,000 over the next week.

Sidebar- you might be wondering... "who is this magical Barb character?" Well, technically speaking, she's my mother's best friend from childhood who has been involved in my life since I can remember, and probably even before that. She's a role model for me, in addition to just being an awesome & generous person. Look to the left to put a face with the name.But there's more! In addition to Barb's generous offer, reaching $10k in donations will qualify the Cure Crew for recognition in the Elite Feet Team at the Bronze level by the MS Society!! (We'll get an exclusive "Members Only" line at Saturday's registration table and featured on various event signage, among other perks.)


photo above: Team Captain Meg warms up pre-walk with her mom, Jean, aunt, Mary, and of course, our famous donor, Barb!

Shout-Outs to NEW Cure Crew team members:
Ok, we even have out of town walkers, dogs & babies! if they can do it, you have no excuse!! come on... join the good times! thank you fran, ann, jeff, john d., scottie (out of town!), sheila (out of town!), mike h., candace, lindsay m., monica, virginia, denise, margie, dave r., holly & matthew, dave c. & julie (+ savannah, a canine walker!), yolanda (we walk in honor of you!!), the yasutis family (caz, teresa & our youngest walker, caz jr.! + a canine walker, perry!), stacie (we walk in honor of you!!), melissa & nino, and lawrence. We want to add your name to the list, as well as recruit some of your friends, so register today following the links above & below this email.

Important info... all the juicy technical details:

Donations: You can submit donations online or by mail at the address below. (Be sure to put your name and Cure Crew on any checks.)

National Multiple Sclerosis Society
National Capital Chapter
1800 M Street, NW
Suite 750 South
Washington, DC 20036
(202) 296-5363


Join the Cure Crew:
1) Follow this link.
2) Click on "Join Cure Crew" underneath the team roster.
3) You will be taken to the registration page. Fundraising is optional. You can pledge any/no donation(s) in this section and move forward with the registration.
4) Fill out all the necessary information and be sure to select the Washington, D.C. Walk on April 5th.

Fundraising Ideas: Every little bit counts when it comes to fundraising- remember the philosophy that no donation is too small. Over the years, Cure Crew team members have been successful with creative fundraising ideas, including:
- Put a jar in your cubicle to solicit donations from work colleagues.
- Ask for $$ after a meeting- pass around a cup or coffee mug to collect pocket change.
- Bring your lunch for a week and donate what you would have spent to the team.
- Copy & paste details from this blast into a mass email to friends & family, asking them to support your Walk efforts.
- Post a bulletin on your MySpace or Facebook site encouraging people to join the Cure Crew or participate in their city's regional MS Walk.

Walk Day: The Cure Crew is meeting on Saturday morning, April 5th, at the Canadian Embassy (look for Cure Crew signs and red t-shirts; 501 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W, Metro: Archives/Navy Memorial-Penn Quarter). Before we begin the walk, we will take our annual Cure Crew team photo- the team will begin walking at 9:00 a.m. After the walk we invite you (and your friends/family) to celebrate the team's success at our picnic at John Marshall Memorial Park, behind the Embassy, in front of the US District Court building. The MS Society will provide Subway sandwiches to all walkers, but the Cure Crew will have separate refreshments available. (Please email us if you would like to donate any food/drink.)

We have only a few team t-shirts left!!!! Designed by Bremmer & Goris Communications and funded by Statistics Collaborative, they have been wildly popular with all the cool kids. Email us about t-shirt availability.



photo above: The Cure Crew team captains, Kate, Meg & Karen, sell t-shirts @ the yearly "Hour Closer to a Cure" fundraiser. (Our favorite personal rock star, Wes Tucker, from Wes Tucker & the Skillets, models a tee.)

Contact Info: As always, just drop us an email at curecrewdc@gmail.com if you have any questions. Thank you for being a part of this year's walk, including reading through this loooooong email! Cheers!!


*********
Kate, Karen and Meg Cure Crew Team Captains 2008
The 2008 MS Walk (DC) is Saturday, April 5- a 3 mile walk through Washington, DC beginning at the Canadian Embassy on Pennsylvania Avenue NW.
Register w/ The Cure Crew and help us raise money for MS research!!!http://www.msandyou.org/

an open mind

i had a delightful nap today! i was wrapped in a heated blanket with music piped in through snug headphones, my eyes closed and completely relaxed... oh, and i was in an MRI machine. yes, that scary, overbearing machine that straps you down to a board, shoves you into a tunnel, and takes obnoxiously loud pictures of your insides. my last MRI was done at geisinger in danville, but this time my internist was okay with doing the scan closer to home. so i went to tristan, a privately run imaging/radiological center on the northern end of town. i threw on my favorite, very well worn, redskins sweatshirt over some leggings and prepared myself for the usual test tube experience.

standard MRI machine

now, i'm not claustrophobic (thank god- can you imagine how horrific & traumatic that would be?!)but i don't think anyone particularly enjoys being trapped in a metal tube for an hour or so. nevertheless, i have a standard game plan- i just close my eyes and pretend i'm somewhere far, far away. little did i know that i was in for a surprising twist when technician # 1, bill, led me into the testing room. the trademark tunnel was nowhere to be found! instead a large, inviting, OPEN MRI table was illuminated in the middle of the room. (cue the "Hallelujah" singing choir) there were no enclosed spaces anywhere on the machine! i was stunned. i have to say, i am a seasoned professional at these tests. i mean, my brain & i have been around- we must have hit every major hospital in the dc metro area at some point in the last 4 years. and never once did we have the pleasure of an open scanner. but now, in the middle of nowhere central PA, this technological superstar from the future is laid out before me. as i stared in awe, the technician shrugged and said, "we have a lot of meat & potatoes people around here." i didn't quite understand this explanation- i can only assume he was alluding to the, ah, "large" size of many residents. (i must admit, i always wondered how they would fit in such tight tunnels!)

open MRI machine (the smiley nurse must have been off today)

the image on the left is an example of lesions an MRI scan might show in a patient with MS- the pink and blue arrows point to clusters of plaque, which are bundles of diseased nerves. (note: these are not scans of my brain!) since today's MRI order was only of my brain, i was in for an approximate 30 minute test from start to finish. i had a nice little nap going on when suddenly, the fun & games were all over! i wouldn't have minded staying in longer- hahah. but while i was waiting in the lobby for the CD of scans (don't get all excited, they are worthless to me- without super doctor powers i can't distinguish any new lesions from old ones.) technician #2, joe, came towards me. he put a small object in the palm of my hand and said quietly, "i think you need this more than me." after he walked away, i opened my hand to see a guardian angel etched into a silver coin, with the word "strength" on the back. it was cold and smooth, and my fingers easily glided back and forth over the engravings. the sensation was actually quite comforting. (later i quipped to mom "i hope he didn't do that because he saw massive amounts of white spots all over my scans!" i was kinda joking...)

i was really touched by the gesture... makes you think about the little things you may or may not do, and how it becomes a part of complete strangers. i'm a big believer of karma and positive energy... pay it forward, pay it forward.

remember, you can view these postings directly on kit kat chat's blog

http://meggerv2.blogspot.com/

tongue twisters

Made amazed us with her imitatios of Minnie Mouse and Marilyn Monroe.
Mark my word, any man who plays tag with sharks won't live to see Monday.
Many of us thought that Myrna wasn't much prettier than her pet ostrich.

measles, minister, moisture, migrate, mayhem, mutual, mongrel, meditate, magnet, mutiny, monster, molar, moody, medley, meager...

no, i haven't taken on a side job doing the neighborhood kids' homework (although i could use the extra cash), nor am i studying for the state spelling bee. this, ladies & gentlemen, is official speech therapy- in action! but first, you have to warm up. you can't just start spewing out words willy nilly. oh no, there is a method to this madness!

1. make sure you do these in a very public place. otherwise, it's not nearly as funny. your cubicle or morning metro ride would be a great start.

2. take a deep breath and say "eeeeeeeee"- hold it for as long as possible. no, don't push through your nose, it should be soft. um, still not right- too breathy. ok you seem to be having a bit of trouble. maybe "aaaaaahhhhhh" would be easier for you? wait- hold the tone steady.... steady, steady....

3. say the word "boam", starting at a high pitch and push, push, push those notes out to end on a low note. if you do this properly, your lips create this funky buzzzzzzz sensation. (wow, that noise was painful- was that even human? maybe you should stick to the shower from now on.)

4. remember your grade school music lesson of "do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do" (or, the sound of music lyrics, which i can't get out of my head since friday night's high school performance)? belt them out, try to sustain the notes as long as possible... keep going, don't stop now you pansy! do it again, again i say!!!

you probably butchered the preceding vocal exercises, but i'll give you the benefit of the doubt and let you continue on this magical journey of the spoken word. remember the beautiful examples of fine literary composition from the beginning of this post? start by humming the beginning "m" sound in the first word of each sentence before proceeding with the tongue twister. your lips should make that funky buzzzzz sensation again. got it? draw it out, draw it out.... "mmmmmmm". ok i guess that's acceptable. then, before pronouncing the next word, take a deep breath in, giving yourself enough air to form each word in its entirity. allow me:

"m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m....ade gasp amazed gasp us gulp with her gasp imitations gulp of minnie gasp mouse gasp and marilyn gasp monroe." (exhale dramatically and pant for air.)

congratulations, you have passed your first speech therapy lesson! most of this is accurate, but of course i had to put the meg spin on it. but the sentences are unfortunately real. even i couldn't make up something that lame! come on, give me some credit!!! hahah. my speech pathologist is vickie, and she looks exactly like tinkerbell- without the wings. i could just fold her up and put her in my back pocket! (i wish i could, b/c she could kick me in the ass when i slur my way through a sentence. she is so patient with me, and is my biggest cheerleader. i went in today with a bad attitude- i just didn't feel like the exercises were helping me. to be quite frank i thought it was a huge waste of time. i can recite the words til i'm blue in the face, or speak incredibly slowly to my face in the bathroom mirror, but when i get in a real conversation, in public, it all goes out the window and the spasms run rampant.

she did talk me off the ledge, reminding me that these are just the building blocks, and there isn't going to be a magic switch that makes my speech flawless again. it's going to be worse when i'm stressed, emotional (good or bad), nervous or tired, and while the exercises might not prevent the problems from occuring, they will give me the tools to correct it on the back end. also, she said that i've made an incredibly amount of progress just in the 3 weeks she has been seeing me. (i'm going to have to take her word for it- she's the professional after all.) a portion of the session is just having regular, off the cuff conversation, forcing me to speak unscripted in an attempt to mimic a "real world" environment. i tell her about my weekend, the plot of a book i'm reading, or what i ate for breakfast, and she marks an X on her notepad every time i slur my words. to me, it was a page of this:

X XXXXX XX X XXX XX XX X XXXX X X X XXX XXXXX XX X XXX XX X X XXX XXXX XX XX X X X

however, she pointed out that 75% of those times, i was able to stop. breathe. start again. i have to change the relationship between my breathing and my speech, and make a conscious effort to apply these practices in every single conversation i have. vicki said her patients fall into 2 categories- those that say "no way, no how, i can't do this, i can't change the way i speak, it's too hard." the other category of folks will work really diligently for 2 or 3 weeks- forcing themselves to be very conscious of their breathing, to sloooowwwwww their speech down significantly. they come into her office and say "you know what- i don't even have to think about this anymore, it's become second nature." i obviously want to fall in the second category, but damn, it's really hard. part of that might be psychological in origin- i am angry that my disease has made me change so many things about my life. frankly, it pisses me off that i have to relearn how to have a simple conversation with joe blow on the street.

our little lesson in speech therapy will have to end here. i can't divulge all my trade secrets! and besides, it's time for a new seasson of dancing with the stars!

remember, you can view these postings directly on kit katchat's blog

http://meggerv2.blogspot.com/

sunday meltdown

i had a bit of a meltdown this morning, which is somewhat out of character for me. i can usually keep it together (or at least enough to fool your average joe, or jane, to be politically correct.) no matter how much time i allott to get ready, it's never enough. after my 8am wake up call, i leaped out of bed, did 25 jumping jacks and then dashed out to the curb to pick up the morning paper. now, which part of that sentence is true? haha. the only thing that's even remotely close is the 8am alarm on my cell phone, which i tried unsuccessfully to ignore- i felt too guilty. (rewind: dr. v has prescribed a specific sleeping regimen to help treat my insomnia- i go to bed at 1:30am, wake up at 8am, and can nap from 1-2pm.)

sometimes having a good day is worse than having a bad one. now meg, that doesn't sound rational! but here's the thing- when i'm having a good day, it's such a treat. i get drawn in to feeling a bit normal, i start to remember what it is like. i'm able to make breakfast, go on a walk, and do a few chores- without my body screaming in protest or requiring a nap in between. so when it's taken away again, it's such a disappointment, it can be quite crushing actually. sometimes i feel like it's almost not worth it. and i did have a string of good days this past week- spurred by a session of reiki on thursday, and chair yoga on friday. my mind tricked my body into thinking it was capable of doing extra activities, and i was pushing myself further and harder. shocking, i know, b/c that is so unlike me. but as usual, i paid for it. when my obnoxious alarm started ringing from my cell, i knew it was going to be a difficult day. let me try to explain what this feels like. take exhaustion, and push it deep into your bones, all the way down. then wrap a rubber band around your ankle, looping it around and around until the circulation is cut off to your feet. finally, strap a 15 pound dumbbell to your arms, submerge yourself in 10 feet of water and walk the length of the pool.

but back to this morning. the plan was to leave for church at 10:10 (it being palm sunday, odds were the attendance would be higher- that turned out to be a very correct assumption), which left me with over two hours to shower, get dressed, and all the girly things that come in between. i used to be an expert at this little dance- i could wake up at 7:15 and be out the door in suit and heels, on the parkway by 7:45... 7:50 if i made coffee for the ride. but everything takes so much longer, and i guess i'm not as aware of that as i should be by now. well, this morning's events sure smacked that realization across my face.

showering in itself takes at least twice as long. i can't just hop in stall and turn on the hot water. (i could, but i'd probably break a leg, if not a hip.) you wouldn't think sitting down in the shower would slow the process down so much, but give it a whirl sometime.(btw this has made me even more anal about clean bathrooms than i already was. take this opportunity to look in your bathtub- would you want to sit down in there? mmm-hmmm.) luckily mom had the patience to dry my hair- a process i can be very particular about doing in a certain way. i had chosen a simple black wrap dress that wouldn't pose any difficulties in dressing- no buttons, snaps or zippers. makeup always proves especially challenging, as the tremors just seem to multiply whenever fine movement is involved. putting on mascara risks coating my cornea with black gook- eyeliner? that could take out an eyeball. but i managed to put on a pretty good face- acceptable for the church crowd ;) all that was left was slipping on my shoes and grabbing a purse. i was so close to being ready- this close. then it all fell apart.

my legs and feet have been abnormally swollen the past 2 weeks (mom measured my ankle the other day- 10 1/2" around! seriously, they're like hillary clinton-esque cankles!), but i knew it was a bad sign when i couldn't pull the pantyhose over my ankles. but after some struggling (and choice words) i did manage to shove my feet through the hose, and grabbed my sassy leopard print flats from their chosen place in the closet. but "slipping in" to the shoes wasn't working out so well. my feet were too swollen to go in without a fight- finally i was able to force them into the shoes, but when i went to take a step, my circulation almost cut off. my feet were beet red through the pantyhose, my skin bulging out the sides of the adorable flats- i fell backwards onto my bed in pain. at this point, i was shaken. i was done. i was exhausted from it all- the shower, the hair drying, the flat iron, the makeup, the pantyhose, the shoes, all of it.

but suddenly it was 10:10, then 10:15- dad was already in the car, mom was hovering around saying "I told you to get ready earlier- you don't give yourself enough time. I knew this would happen." i was able to fish out some loose, suede black boots from the back of my closet, and shoved (and pleaded) my throbbing feet into the boots, praying i'd be able to walk down the steps and out the door. by then, with my entire body gone into freakout mode, it really took everything i had not to slam my bedroom door and crawl back under the covers. but i didn't, and i was able to negotiate my way downstairs. unfortunately, once i was in the car and headed down market street, my issues didn't stop. my dress had come untied- and this being a wrap dress, that could be a bit of a problem. (think janet jackson/superbowl scandal.) the seat belt wasn't cooperating, and i couldn't get the strap loose enough to retie the dress underneath my heavy coat. (damn that safety feature of keeping you from flying out the windshield during potential impact.) and then i couldn't get my earrings in- my fingers were shaking too much to make contact with the hook/clasp. in haste, i practically ripped my right earlobe off.

trembling, i finally managed to swap my glasses for my over sized prescription black sunglasses, aka undercover hollywood starlet, and attempted to calm down. but i was still shaking when we got into the sanctuary, which was of course filled to capacity. in addition to the children that were literally spilling out of the entrance (they were preparing to do the whole palm thing), it was also girl scout sunday, and little green and brown uniforms were running all over the place. we were going to have to split up, which i knew was only going to further irritate mom. climbing over an elderly couple, we squeezed into a row in the back of the church, leaving dad to fend for himself. (he was probably perfectly content with this- lol!) but even the traditions of sunday service didn't work to comfort me like they usually do, the softly spoken words of the apostles creed and the singing voices of the doxology didn't work to sooth my mind. i was still a mess, so i popped a valium to try to calm the tremors. unfortunately, the valium makes me a bit sleepy, so now i was struggling just to stay awake, or at least vertical, for the entire service. feeling like i did, that was a huge achievement.

after the acc finals, and securing our 2nd straight acc championship, i was able to send my exhausted self to my room for some much needed coma time. of course this was completely against my scheduled sleep rules, but i didn't give a damn. (shhh, don't tell on me!) i was too tired, sore, and drained to feel guilty (which is rare! i'm always feeling guilty about something- which is somewhat unfair considering i never do anything exciting or scandalous enough to warrant guilt!) after a 3 hour nap, i'm feeling more like myself again, although my body feels like it was put through the spin cycle in a washing machine. i know that it is better to acknowledge the frustrations that come with a bad day instead of repressing it, and letting it eat you up inside. (trust me, i've been through enough therapy and taken enough psychology courses in my day.) but the thing is, it's the mere fact that i'm frustrated by these small challenges that gets to me. they're so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, and it makes me feel like a shallow wimpy person to even complain about them. so now, not only am i frustrated by the problems themselves, but i'm frustrated by my own frustration! aaaaaaaaughhhhhhhh! it's this cycle of guilt and irritation that goes round and round and round again.

well, that's all the crazy i have time for. i have to get back to repressing my feelings of guilt and inadequacy. hah!

remember, you can view these postings directly on kit katchat's blog
http://meggerv2.blogspot.com/

one hour closer

we are quite a few hours closer to a cure after the success of this year's Cure Crew fundraiser. to say success is actually an understatement, since the event generated more money than ANY of the previous years, and attendance was through the ROOF (or, well, basement since we were in the bottom bar). for those of you that have been living with a paper bag over your head, i am referring to the Cure Crew's annual MS Walk fundraiser at rhodeside grill in arlington.

since i'm not a DC local anymore (sniffle, sniffle) most of the planning for this event always falls on k8 and karen, who of course knock it out of the park. i don't know how those 2 keep topping this event each year but they DO. we had acoustic performances by a woman that plays soccer with karen, and a couple of the guys from wes tucker & the skillets (who have so graciously offered their entertainment for past fundraisers). the raffle prizes were pretty major also- washington wizards tickets, an iPod, some delicious food joints around DC. and the turnout was SO SO FIERCE! (love this phrase, thank you christian <--love him!) we had over 100 guests and made over $1640!! can you believe that?! in one night! man, it makes you feel good.

i had decided at the VERY last minute that i was going to attend the happy hour. i asked (err, announced) k8 if i could crash on her futon, and because she is a saint, she agreed (even though it was one of her busiest weeks of the YEAR). i don't know how, but she even managed to stock the fridge with gluten/dairy free food!! so, i booked the bus ticket and was on my way at 8:30am on thursday. traveling put me a bit out of sorts by the end of the day. as much of a city girl as i am, it's still a bit of culture shock when you step onto the bus in the middle of quiet, quaint, & deserted downtown Lburg and step off the bus into the hot mess known as northeast DC.

but i didn't have long to ponder the change in scenery. i had to quickly put on my game face and grab a cab driver- those DC cabs always rip you off with the insanely stupid zone method of determining fares. after i gave him explicit directions on which way to cross over into arlington, i settled back into the cheap leather seat and looked out the window to see what i had missed over the past few months. honking, stoplights, pedestrians, government buildings, tourists... nothing amiss. during the drive, he assured me that he does not drink & drive (comforting to know as he cuts people off right and left), and does not approve of people that do. i have no idea why he felt the need to share that with me, but the world's a better place with one less drunken cab driver.

k8's place always smells like a flower & candle store, and there is always a new addition to the decor each time i visit (she always says "my apartment is finally the way i want it." famous last words!) but by the way, that girl can do more with 382 sq. feet than martha stewart on steroids. my legs were screaming at me to give them a rest, and my feet were swelling their way out of my flats, so i was luckily able to rest for a bit before the event began. thank god. i was going to need all the stamina, strength & energy i had to get through the next 5 hours. the walk always brings in a varied crowd- old friends, new friends, work friends, neighbor friends, kickball friends, MS friends, and all of their friends. so it's a constant "hey!" "oh hi!" "holy shit i haven't seen you in ages!" "omg hey!" "hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" "hey girl!" "oooooo! it's so good to see you!", lots of hugs and a few trademark girl shrieks... get the picture? it is total sensation overload, a little overwhelming and utterly exhausting. (although i think my eyes might have glazed over at various points.)

i'll let you in on a secret tho... i have some anxiety issues when it comes to seeing people from my "old life." i'm not sure what they expect, and i don't want them to feel awkward or uncomfortable. i also don't want people to lie to me b/c they think it will make me feel better. i worry that the bits of jealousy will creep up on me, envious that they have these real lives that are going places and accomplishing things. i worry that i have let them down, that i haven't been a good enough friend. i go through all these things in my head (repeatedly) and end up overanalyzing into a bigger, fabricated deal than it really is. so that's the emotional part.

as far as the physical issues- i had "warned" quite a few people that i was having difficulty speaking, and just to bear with me. (i should call it "my meg disclaimer" hahah.) but i must have had some karma cashed in because i was able to hold basic conversations without pulling my hair out in frustration or running from the room in embarrassment. i did try to set up camp in a group of 2 tables by the door- 1) to help k8/karen take money, hand out raffle tickets & tshirts, and 2) so that i could stash my cane away in a corner and use the table/chair as support. for the most part, i was able to keep to that strategy. luckily, the downstairs bar isn't that huge, so i was able to see everyone at least once amidst the chaos.

on the bus drive back, i had (a lot) of time to think. (which was proving difficult since a woman 2 rows back was talking on her cell phone the ENTIRE TIME at a volume that was totally uncalled for in a small enclosed space.) i think it says a lot about my friends- their integrity, their character, their loyalty, their compassion- from their participation in this event alone. i guess it is generosity that comes to mind the most. generosity in any amount or form (whether it is your time, or your money, or your talent) is such a simple idea at its core, but it's something that i am not sure i portray every day. and isn't that what your friends should do- make you a better person than you would be alone? so i think this event always reminds me of that.

my mom used to say "you are who you hang around with" and it used to just grate my last nerve! (sorry mom!) but she was right. she was totally right. and if i am even a fraction of what those people represented last thursday night, i consider myself pretty damn blessed.

tom, steve & ashley

wil & his UNC gfriend (he finally learned!)

fran, meg & kathryn

kelly & lori

robert & company

meg & candace

remember, you can view these postings directly on kit katchat's blog

http://meggerv2.blogspot.com/

a reminder

if any of you watched 60 Minutes this sunday evening, you were lucky enough to see the same segment i did on a man named Stan Brock and his organization, Remote Area Medical. (if you didn't, a video from the segment is below, and you can click here to be taken to a recap of the 60 Minutes report.) i'm also willing to bet you saw the segment through watery eyes, watching admiringly as volunteer doctors, dentists and nurses treated hundreds of people, for free, over a recent 2 day weekend. (okay okay, if you are a tough, manly man you might not have shed actual tears- but you wanted to, i know you did!) but unlike the name suggests, this wasn't in the slums of Ethiopia or Cambodia or Mali. in fact, this wasn't anywhere Remote at all- it was in Knoxville, TN.

(i couldn't get the video to embed, so please click here.)

obviously, health care is close to my heart (duh, this entire blog is dedicated to it), but it's not just for personal reasons. yes, having had recent years of medical trauma is part of it and most likely spurred it. i'd like to believe i would be as passionate without all that drama. regardless, it has served as a platform to realizing how precious health care really is, and how privileged those are who have access to it. and i use the words precious and privilege specifically, because the basic concept of medical insurance is quickly losing its place as a norm in the life of your average Joe. most likely, you or someone in your close family is without health insurance. for any of you that have ever been on the receiving end of medical care, for treatment as minor as a bad migraine to as major as open heart surgery, the thought of NOT having an option to get help is quite frankly terrifying. as i watched the endless line of people snaking through the parking lot, my heart really went out to them. some of them had not seen a doctor in 5, 10, even 20 years- even though they were living with previously diagnosed conditions that had gone entirely untreated. at the end of the weekend, RAM had to turn away over 400 people. people that had stood in line for hours in the bitter winter cold just for a chance to possibly see a doctor. but here's the kicker- these hundreds are only a fraction of the over 42 million Americans who are uninsured (and we're not including those who are under insured- which can come with such high restrictions that it can mirror being uninsured altogether.)

i will be the first to say that i do not know what the answer is. i know the reasons why (rising cost of private insurance, bad economy, loss of employment, etc.) but that's where i reach a dead end. smarter men (& women) than i have surely tried to address it, not just in America but on a global scale. but the thing is, you should never have to choose between your rent, and your health, or the health of your children. especially not in a prospering, wealthy, and resource-rich country like ours.

people like Stan, and the hundreds of nameless volunteers, are literally lifesavers, and i am beyond thankful that they so freely give up their time, money, and skill to help. it makes me a little less scared about the future of health care in this country, a reminder of the human spirit and general goodwill of others. it also makes me count my blessings that i am dealing with a disease within an incredibly generous circle of supportive friends & family.

sometimes i wish that i could be more like a Stan Brock- i believe that i equal him on a passion level, but on the action side, he well exceeds even my greatest efforts. i honestly do have these debates with myself- where can i fit in? how can i help? the problems seem so big, so overwhelming, so insurmountable. so i turn to what i have always turned to in questions of direction, and that's education- not exclusively in an academic setting, but more of a life setting. you know that smarmy cliche about how knowledge is power? it seems so simple, doesn't it. but it's true. my thinking is that if i can educate myself about the problems facing people as far away as Africa to as nearby as Altoona, then i can educate others in turn. and hopefully, that cycle continues. sometimes i get so wrapped up in myself that i can't see further than my own challenges. it's stories like Stan Brock's that thankfully jolt me back to reality. i know it sounds a bit cheesy, but i can only pray that one day i'll be able to be more hands on, and actually make a direct difference...

my biggest hope of this posting would be that you are motivated to seek out opportunities and venues to help people in need of medical care, whether it is through RAM , or your own church, neighborhood, school, and workplace. but i do have a few other hopes as well. i hope that you keep health care in mind at the ballot box as you make your choice for a presidential candidate. who has experience with it? who has the guts to make the radical changes necessary? who has a plan that is high on their priority list?

i hope that you take this moment to become more educated about your own health care resources- what's covered, what isn't, why not. for example, at one of my earlier agency jobs, i chose the free HMO plan offered by my employer. why? well, why not? i was young, making no money, and naively healthy (and would rather spend the $50/mo on shoes or wine.) but then i was diagnosed with MS. unfortunately those 3" stiletto heels weren't going to pay for required visits to specialists, or exchanged for the $100+/mo costs in prescriptions. i could switch to a PPO with access the recommended doctors outside my network, but the insurance company had strict rules on when you could change your policy. those 6 months were quite scary, to be totally honest with you. it cost me (and dad) quite a lot- not only monetarily, but in the quality of care i was able to receive. (ah, those were the days of hanging IV bags of solumedrol from wire clothes hangers off my lampshade... elle & k8 probably remember that quite well!) golden rule people: it is always worth the extra money when it comes to your health. (ok mini lecture complete.)

but my last hope is this. i hope every one of you that reads this posting knows how truly thankful i am for your support, how appreciative i am of your friendship, and how much your letters, prayers, visits, thoughts, and emails mean to me.

remember, you can view these postings directly on kit katchat's blog
http://meggerv2.blogspot.com/