who gets fired from physical therapy? if anything, isn't it supposed to be the other way around? the patient quitting in a fit of frustration or at least a dramatic teary outburst? and wouldn't the latter be more expected of me? well, in a recent move that is par for the course in progress 2007, i was benched from physical therapy. now, in my PT's defense, and i do know she's sincere (commence ranting), she emphasized that she was not discharging me, that she was still going to keep my case on file, but i needed to get my physical ailments sorted out so that our work together is beneficial, not detrimental.
and the top runner of physical ailments at the time is my abused and overly medicated digestive system. (altho i have to admit- considering i've given up two of my great loves, pinot grigio and michelob ultra, you'd think my body would be thrilled with only having to process pills alone!) so to say that pt has been a burden or an exercise in frustration (other than what it normally is) over the past month specifically, is an understatement. i've used the last ounce of my energy to push the pedals on that damn bike, or do exercises on the giant red peanut, or just drag myself there in general- and she voiced what i hadn't- that instead of making progress, we're going in circles. she also referenced that she knew i'd get on my hands/knees and crawl there before i admitted i couldn't do it anymore, which made me laugh over the accuracy of the prediction.
and she's right- i'm physically miserable and in pain, and i'm not able to give pt the focus and energy i want to give it. but i don't know how to fix that! i'm really trying, i'm trying so hard. and for once, i can't blame the MS as the main source of these limitations, which is humorously ironic in and of itself. but i can only go as quick or as strong as my body allows me- and i'm not getting to work with a very big budget here.
how was your day honey? oh fine, i was fired from physical therapy, that's all.
6.20.2007
guestbook 07
New Additions to Meg's Guestbook, Summer 07
since i've slacked a bit on the bragging rights from recent meg visitors, i thought i'd make up for some lost time by giving everyone their 5 mins of internet fame... i'm not the world's most exciting host- visits include many naps, long talks with mom, reading trashy magazines, reminding me to take my medicine and do my treatments, and if you're lucky, a trip to the local CVS or post office. but most of you are slaves to work, so a visit here is like a retreat of relaxation, hopefully! (btw, those pangs you feel as you're scanning this are stabbings of guilt for not visiting me. ha!!!)
4.28.07-4.29.07 Holly Shaw, Arlington VAwhoa, i needed to reach into the way-back file for this one. i can't believe i didn't document holly's vist in may- mom even made one of her infamous welcome banners (1st time in the new house!!) she came laden with gluten-free offerings from my major miss, Whole Foods. i got the update on work drama (which i still get totally into) and even stayed up past 10pm that saturday night (major achievement these days). she had so much fun that she's even coming back for more- she & matthew are making an overnight stop next week on their way to vacation on the farm.
6.7.07-6.10.07 Meredith & Kate Sheline, Birmingham AL
it was our first introduction to Baby Kate during an extended weekend visit from her hot mom Meredith. i was primed to be kate's favorite, but that title went to the true star of the family, our dog madisen. i guess i'll have to settle for favorite human. dad took us on a country drive, determined to show meredith our amish neighbors (there were a few buggy sightings), and we polished off burgers at our favorite drive-up, The Fence. (think sonic with those perky rollerskating waitresses that come to your window- but without the roller skates.) mere's trip back home didn't go so smoothly- there was an earmuff situation with an asshole over a canceled leg of the flight. she has more patience than i would- flying from noon to midnight with a 9 month old...
6.16.07 Kate Hartig, Arlington VA
social butterfly Kate Hartig took to the open road on saturday for an overnight trip to her country home. i'm glad i was worth shrugging off that wicked hangover for 3 hours on the road, hee hee. she helped celebrate father's day with a delicious brunch prepared by none other than dad himself! we watched the predictable chick flick "music & lyrics" which was surprisingly cute- that drew barrymore & her romantic comedies!!
6.18.07-6.20.07 Barb Lyneis McLucas, Williamstown MA
Barb, our "save the day" donor from this year's Cure Crew/MS Walk fundraiser, hopped in her yellow boxster for a 350mi road trip on one of the hottest day(s) on east coast recent history- and has the sunburn to prove it. barb is mom's best friend from high school, and basically is who i want to be when i grow up. her first task as visitor was to cook dinner, and we feasted on grilled salmon and asparagus. she brought a gift basket that had (2) big hits- a rooster, and a delicious pepper jam paired with cream cheese. mom gave her a splash of local culture- they went to the farmer's market to see mom's favorite Amish cheese vendor, and of course sample the local whoopie pies. what's a trip to PA without having a whoopie pie?!
6.18.07 Lindsay Casteel, McLean VA
Lindsay made a quick detour on her drive back to DC from a visit home to the fam in Bloomsburg. she delivered a fresh crop of girlie books to entertain and distract me. i pumped her for work gossip, and gave her way too much information on my recent colonoscopy. poor girl. btw either she is wicked tan, or i'm wicked pale. for both of our sakes, let's hope she's just tan.
add it to my medical resume
by the time i reach middle age, and require various medical tests and procedures, i am going to be old hat at almost any test there is! (by the time i'm middle age, we'll probably swallow pills with cameras that photograph our insides) this week i added "colonoscopy/endoscopy" to my medical resume, thanks to X-Man Stealth and my other GI woes.
the procedure itself was easier than getting an MRI- you lie in a comfy bed, don't have to wear a bra, are totally knocked out, and sleep through the whole thing! in my opinion, the doctors are the ones who have the short end of the stick- i sure as hell wouldn't want that job. the pre-procedure prep is easy as cake, too! (especially if you like lemon-lime gatorade, which i'm a huge fan of) you pop a couple pills to get things moving, then gulp down an 8oz glass of spiked gatorade every 20 mins for an hour or two. unfortunately, my pre-prep didn't go as textbook as preferred- the dr. told my mom afterwards that i wasn't cleaned out at all!!! so embarrassing! he said that they were expecting such an outcome and were able to "work through it". again, the docs def have the worse part of this deal!
did you know that your esophagus muscle can be weakened and cause acid-reflux like symptoms? (i asked. there are no exercises to strengthen this muscle.)
there are always precautions when dealing with anesthesia. to put it in layman's terms, it is physically manipulating your body's central nervous system- your body's entire communication network! as far as general anesthesia is concerned, it inhibits your brain from perceiving pain signals (or any other messages) from the nervous system (temporarily, of course.) we're talking big time stuff here, no matter how healthy or unhealthy the patient. throw in a medication list as long as a typical office memo, an influential fentanyl patch (loves to mess with your heart rate and can make sedation difficult), and an auto-immune disease that affects the central nervous sytem itself, and you have an anesthesiologist's dream patient.
unfortunately, my body didn't breeze through the post procedure like it did the pre-prep steps. i have been experiencing a level of exhaustion that i haven't felt in weeks- i can barely put one foot in front of the other, and have slept every few hours the past 2 days. when i woke up this evening from napping, i felt like i had been run over by a MAC truck- and served as a personal dance floor to King Kong. i've been in an incredibly pouty and snappy mood, and my level of patience is next to nothing. if things don't improve by Friday, i might give my GI doctor a ring- which means they will tell me to call my neurologist, who of course will say to rest and keep an eye on things over the weekend. see, i don't even need to call the doctor! i can already predict next steps. just call me dr. meggers.
the procedure itself was easier than getting an MRI- you lie in a comfy bed, don't have to wear a bra, are totally knocked out, and sleep through the whole thing! in my opinion, the doctors are the ones who have the short end of the stick- i sure as hell wouldn't want that job. the pre-procedure prep is easy as cake, too! (especially if you like lemon-lime gatorade, which i'm a huge fan of) you pop a couple pills to get things moving, then gulp down an 8oz glass of spiked gatorade every 20 mins for an hour or two. unfortunately, my pre-prep didn't go as textbook as preferred- the dr. told my mom afterwards that i wasn't cleaned out at all!!! so embarrassing! he said that they were expecting such an outcome and were able to "work through it". again, the docs def have the worse part of this deal!
did you know that your esophagus muscle can be weakened and cause acid-reflux like symptoms? (i asked. there are no exercises to strengthen this muscle.)
there are always precautions when dealing with anesthesia. to put it in layman's terms, it is physically manipulating your body's central nervous system- your body's entire communication network! as far as general anesthesia is concerned, it inhibits your brain from perceiving pain signals (or any other messages) from the nervous system (temporarily, of course.) we're talking big time stuff here, no matter how healthy or unhealthy the patient. throw in a medication list as long as a typical office memo, an influential fentanyl patch (loves to mess with your heart rate and can make sedation difficult), and an auto-immune disease that affects the central nervous sytem itself, and you have an anesthesiologist's dream patient
unfortunately, my body didn't breeze through the post procedure like it did the pre-prep steps. i have been experiencing a level of exhaustion that i haven't felt in weeks- i can barely put one foot in front of the other, and have slept every few hours the past 2 days. when i woke up this evening from napping, i felt like i had been run over by a MAC truck- and served as a personal dance floor to King Kong. i've been in an incredibly pouty and snappy mood, and my level of patience is next to nothing. if things don't improve by Friday, i might give my GI doctor a ring- which means they will tell me to call my neurologist, who of course will say to rest and keep an eye on things over the weekend. see, i don't even need to call the doctor! i can already predict next steps. just call me dr. meggers.
6.12.2007
magic #4, but disappointed #1
it's a big week here at Camp Meg 2007. this am was the highly anticipated 4th infusion @ the oncologist- after a game of hide & seek with my veins and their needles, that is. (note to self: for early am infusions, swap the mug of coffee for the bottle of Figi.) the doctor's original timeline still repeats itself in the back of my head ("it will take at least 4-6 infusions to see improvements- if it helps at all...") and yesterday was the highly anticipated first 5 min workout on the exercise bike, officially approved and directed by my physical therapist. this one didn't go so well either- i could only do 1 minute, and 30 seconds of that was cheating to tell you the truth. (i was pushing my thighs down to move the pedals.) i couldn't keep cycling fast enough to even keep the damn machine on!!!
i've been struggling the past 2 weeks with increased flares of existing issues- most specifically, overwhelming fatigue and intense joint pain. the closer it came to the monthly infusion, each day seemed to require more ice packs, less food, more painkillers, more naps, more heating pads... it's as if my sensitivity level skyrockets by the time i'm headed to harrisburg for the infusion.
BUT, i have a working theory on this, which you might have already picked up on by the intro. the Tysabri could be working- but it definitely depends on a rigid monthly schedule. as the month wears on, the meds seem to be watered down, so the effectiveness decreases. after the next infusion, it kicks into gear again. unfortunately, with only (4) infusions under my belt, it's too early to tell if the month's medicine starts all over again, or improves upon the previous month(s) doses. obviously, i'd hope for the latter. (there's probably a better way to phrase that sentence, but i'm having issues with expressing myself today.)
i'm still blown away by the intimacy and personal care the medical staff provides. i have only been to this location for the infusion 1x before, and it was a month ago, so i wasn't expecting anyone to have memorized my file. but from the moment i walked up to the front desk to check in, she addressed me by name immediately! and that continued even as i walked out the door- passing a couple nurses and a woman in billing. what means a lot to me is that i have been assigned the same nurse for my treatments, and this is important. jackie is familiar with the treatment i am having, the additional medication i require with the meds (anti-nausea ,thank god), and picks up on my personality in the treatment room (little conversation, an afghan, and sprite) without all the small talk bullshit that usually goes along with doctor visits.
after treatment was completed, we had to make a quick stop to pick up the infamous "separates" (i am getting this wedding lingo down slowly) that finally arrived from the secret hideaway known as the david's bridal warehouse. (has anyone ever wondered why a GUY- assumedly "david"- wanted to start a store for women wedding necessities? i have.) i am now ready for my bridesmaid role in patty/bryan's august ceremony. speaking of their big day, patty had texted me that they would be meeting with the preacher who will be presiding over the ceremony this week. i had brief flashbacks of halloween '01 when emma/sandy used a church basement staircase for a temporary restroom. i'm crossing my fingers that God can tell the difference between patty and sandy- otherwise, she might be screwed.
i do have a final point to this posting. (i've been taking the free association approach on this one- which would make it easy to pick up where you left off without being confused. see, i'm thinking of my readers.) across from david's bridal, in the booming metropolitan of harrisburg, pa, was........ a TARGET! its beautiful red/white logo was beckoning to us, hypnotizing mom & i as it lured us into the store. ahhh... mom said it best- "we're home!" and i echoed her sentiment. (something tells me that dad felt a pang of dread and grasped his wallet around that same time.) even tho i didn't have the energy to work my way throughout all the fabulous departments (purses, shoes, greeting cards, lounge wear, makeup, picture frames- ok, ok, i'm getting carried away), i was able to walk through approx 1/16 of the floorspace, breathing in the smell of beauty bargains and bright-colored signage left and right. oh, how i've missed you,Target!
i think i have a new motivation for getting back on that exercise bike, and it begins with a T.
i've been struggling the past 2 weeks with increased flares of existing issues- most specifically, overwhelming fatigue and intense joint pain. the closer it came to the monthly infusion, each day seemed to require more ice packs, less food, more painkillers, more naps, more heating pads... it's as if my sensitivity level skyrockets by the time i'm headed to harrisburg for the infusion.
BUT, i have a working theory on this, which you might have already picked up on by the intro. the Tysabri could be working- but it definitely depends on a rigid monthly schedule. as the month wears on, the meds seem to be watered down, so the effectiveness decreases. after the next infusion, it kicks into gear again. unfortunately, with only (4) infusions under my belt, it's too early to tell if the month's medicine starts all over again, or improves upon the previous month(s) doses. obviously, i'd hope for the latter. (there's probably a better way to phrase that sentence, but i'm having issues with expressing myself today.)
i'm still blown away by the intimacy and personal care the medical staff provides. i have only been to this location for the infusion 1x before, and it was a month ago, so i wasn't expecting anyone to have memorized my file. but from the moment i walked up to the front desk to check in, she addressed me by name immediately! and that continued even as i walked out the door- passing a couple nurses and a woman in billing. what means a lot to me is that i have been assigned the same nurse for my treatments, and this is important. jackie is familiar with the treatment i am having, the additional medication i require with the meds (anti-nausea ,thank god), and picks up on my personality in the treatment room (little conversation, an afghan, and sprite) without all the small talk bullshit that usually goes along with doctor visits.
after treatment was completed, we had to make a quick stop to pick up the infamous "separates" (i am getting this wedding lingo down slowly) that finally arrived from the secret hideaway known as the david's bridal warehouse. (has anyone ever wondered why a GUY- assumedly "david"- wanted to start a store for women wedding necessities? i have.) i am now ready for my bridesmaid role in patty/bryan's august ceremony. speaking of their big day, patty had texted me that they would be meeting with the preacher who will be presiding over the ceremony this week. i had brief flashbacks of halloween '01 when emma/sandy used a church basement staircase for a temporary restroom. i'm crossing my fingers that God can tell the difference between patty and sandy- otherwise, she might be screwed.
i do have a final point to this posting. (i've been taking the free association approach on this one- which would make it easy to pick up where you left off without being confused. see, i'm thinking of my readers.) across from david's bridal, in the booming metropolitan of harrisburg, pa, was....
i think i have a new motivation for getting back on that exercise bike, and it begins with a T.
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