magic #4, but disappointed #1

it's a big week here at Camp Meg 2007. this am was the highly anticipated 4th infusion @ the oncologist- after a game of hide & seek with my veins and their needles, that is. (note to self: for early am infusions, swap the mug of coffee for the bottle of Figi.) the doctor's original timeline still repeats itself in the back of my head ("it will take at least 4-6 infusions to see improvements- if it helps at all...") and yesterday was the highly anticipated first 5 min workout on the exercise bike, officially approved and directed by my physical therapist. this one didn't go so well either- i could only do 1 minute, and 30 seconds of that was cheating to tell you the truth. (i was pushing my thighs down to move the pedals.) i couldn't keep cycling fast enough to even keep the damn machine on!!!

i've been struggling the past 2 weeks with increased flares of existing issues- most specifically, overwhelming fatigue and intense joint pain. the closer it came to the monthly infusion, each day seemed to require more ice packs, less food, more painkillers, more naps, more heating pads... it's as if my sensitivity level skyrockets by the time i'm headed to harrisburg for the infusion.

BUT, i have a working theory on this, which you might have already picked up on by the intro. the Tysabri could be working- but it definitely depends on a rigid monthly schedule. as the month wears on, the meds seem to be watered down, so the effectiveness decreases. after the next infusion, it kicks into gear again. unfortunately, with only (4) infusions under my belt, it's too early to tell if the month's medicine starts all over again, or improves upon the previous month(s) doses. obviously, i'd hope for the latter. (there's probably a better way to phrase that sentence, but i'm having issues with expressing myself today.)

i'm still blown away by the intimacy and personal care the medical staff provides. i have only been to this location for the infusion 1x before, and it was a month ago, so i wasn't expecting anyone to have memorized my file. but from the moment i walked up to the front desk to check in, she addressed me by name immediately! and that continued even as i walked out the door- passing a couple nurses and a woman in billing. what means a lot to me is that i have been assigned the same nurse for my treatments, and this is important. jackie is familiar with the treatment i am having, the additional medication i require with the meds (anti-nausea ,thank god), and picks up on my personality in the treatment room (little conversation, an afghan, and sprite) without all the small talk bullshit that usually goes along with doctor visits.

after treatment was completed, we had to make a quick stop to pick up the infamous "separates" (i am getting this wedding lingo down slowly) that finally arrived from the secret hideaway known as the david's bridal warehouse. (has anyone ever wondered why a GUY- assumedly "david"- wanted to start a store for women wedding necessities? i have.) i am now ready for my bridesmaid role in patty/bryan's august ceremony. speaking of their big day, patty had texted me that they would be meeting with the preacher who will be presiding over the ceremony this week. i had brief flashbacks of halloween '01 when emma/sandy used a church basement staircase for a temporary restroom. i'm crossing my fingers that God can tell the difference between patty and sandy- otherwise, she might be screwed.

i do have a final point to this posting. (i've been taking the free association approach on this one- which would make it easy to pick up where you left off without being confused. see, i'm thinking of my readers.) across from david's bridal, in the booming metropolitan of harrisburg, pa, was.... .... a TARGET! its beautiful red/white logo was beckoning to us, hypnotizing mom & i as it lured us into the store. ahhh... mom said it best- "we're home!" and i echoed her sentiment. (something tells me that dad felt a pang of dread and grasped his wallet around that same time.) even tho i didn't have the energy to work my way throughout all the fabulous departments (purses, shoes, greeting cards, lounge wear, makeup, picture frames- ok, ok, i'm getting carried away), i was able to walk through approx 1/16 of the floorspace, breathing in the smell of beauty bargains and bright-colored signage left and right. oh, how i've missed you,Target!

i think i have a new motivation for getting back on that exercise bike, and it begins with a T.