falls church metro: the untold story

i hinted at this story in "i get by, with a little help, from my friends"- after you read it, you'll agree it definitely deserved its own posting.

the story begins when our main character, Marylee, made her way zombie-like to chinatown/philly to catch the cheap bus to dc. having existed solely on coffee (black- true MD style) and ramen noodles, she barely noticed when it left 30 minutes early (those poor suckers that stopped for a cheesesteak on the way were SOL until saturday.) she arrived in dc earlier than planned, around 7:30, and had thankfully snapped out of her coma by then. stopping for coffee, she hopped on the metro towards the orange line.

since going into the city early evening on a friday can sometimes be an f*show, we had planned for dad to pick her up at east falls church metro, (suburbia making it easier to navigate- less one way streets, less camera lights, you get the idea.) she was to send a text once she changed lines, signaling dad to leave the hotel for pick up. the operation was in full swing, and dad was on 66 headed towards falls church. he gets off on the correct exit, makes his way to the metro, and was relieved to see that the parking lot was practically empty. he parked the car easily and waited, pleased with himself at getting there early.

unkown to dad, ML was texting me saying she was there, where was the Pilot (car, not referring to dad as the driver) etc. i am slightly confused, but put the 2 in contact with each other. turns out that dad was at west falls church, ML was at east falls church. no big deal, she just went back in and took the other exit. she and dad connect, she hops in the car and mom most likely started the "Jean Inquisition" (btw my mom can find out your entire life story and then more in the first 15 minutes of meeting her.) dad pulls up to the exit gate... the arm doesn't move. he backs up, tries again. the arm still doesn't move.

hmmmm, he ponders. he looks around. he inspects the signage. turns out, he is in the "park & ride" lot. the only way out would be to go into the metro station, buy a metro card ($5), put the minimum $5 balance on the card, swipe the card at the gate, and gain exit from the lot. now, $10 is clearly going to break the bank, so dad decides to measure the space between the arm and the curb... could he do it? nah, it's too risky for the car. defeated, he starts walking towards the station and encounters a "nice looking younger man" moving towards the parking lot. excuse me, says dad, are you parked here? yes. does the arm come down fast when your car leaves? asks dad. we're from out of town, and accidentally pulled into this lot for a pickup. (dad's thinking he could piggy back out of the lot) yes, the arm comes down really fast. says the "nice looking younger man." okay, thank you. defeated again, dad continues walking towards the station.

well, ok, the man says. let's give it a try. (typical men, right? all of this over $10) they cars pull up to the exit gate, and the man in front PEELS out of the lot (we’re talking tires squealing.) dad’s ready, and slams on the accelerator afterwards. guess what? that arm is REALLY fast. suddenly it’s down on the roof. GASP!!!!!! dad slams on the brakes, and there are 2 men walking on the side walk in front of the lot who fear for their lives, apparently thinking dad’s intent was going to hit them. (i would have shared their concern.) now, hopefully ML is going to post a comment on this story, b/c she was the one in the car. but from morgensen history, i can only guess that my mother GRIPS onto my dad’s arm screaming “TOM WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!” then shields her hands in front of her face. kind of like this:

*Note: This is not my mom, but K8 was nice enough to demonstrate.

and i'm guessing that ML has her hand over her mouth, eyes wide, not knowing whether to laugh or to squeeze her eyes shut. back to the story. the arm is down on the car, dad backs up, and gets out of the car to inspect for damage. (again. this risk over $10.) by this time, the “nice looking younger man” had made it to the corner light, but being the “nice looking younger man” he was, he backed up. likewise, gets out of the car, they share an awkward laugh over how quick that arm really is. he swipes his card, sacrificing his hard earned $5, so that dad can legally get out of the parking lot. and being the “nice looking younger man” he is, refuses to take dad’s $5.

let this be a lesson to all of the piggy backing parking lot cheaters out there- the gate arm at the dc "park & ride" lots are FAST.