the rose ceremony- M.D. style

my dating patterns seem to be either all or nothin'. i either have no dates for 6 months, or 6 dates in 6 weeks. when the latter occurs, my girlfriends would joke that meg was having a "rose ceremony" (mimicking the show, "The Bachelor", where the hot, accomplished, perfect man gives out roses to the chosen women at the end of an elimination round.) so when i realized that YOU were the only advocate for your medical care, and that you could actually, gasp, go to another doctor if you didn't like the one you had...

ok, stop. don't roll your eyes at me like you already KNEW this. half of you don't even have a primary care physician (i can rant about this forever- just ask kate!)

anyway, back to what i was saying...i decided to apply the rose ceremony approach to my neurologist transition from VA to PA. after many hours of driving, waiting, examinations, waiting, more driving, arguing, more waiting... the final rose (err, mom's credit card) was given to a neurologist in Harrisburg, a Dr. Barbara O'Connell at PNNI (Pennsylvania Neurosurgery & Neuroscience Institute.) mentioning the word "Harrisburg" alone was enough to send mom into a fit of anxiety (she made Dad do a "trial run" there and back the weekend before) <--note, Harrisburg is 1 hour from Lewisburg, so this isn't like doing a quick directions test from Old Town to Arlington. (oh- i don't quite have *clearance* to drive, so poor Mom has to take on most of the chauffeur needs.)

as most of you know, i tend to have erratic sleeping patterns. i can pull 3 hours of sleep/night for weeks, then crash and spend every available moment clutching my pillows and walking like a zombie. the latter was occurring when the journey to my scheduled appt with Dr. O'Connell began. Dad had told my mother "don't worry, Meg will be with you, she'll tell you where to go"- that clearly wasn't going to be an option. all i remember is mom shaking me awake, shoving a rice cake in my hand, and telling me that we were there. after so many failed appts, you become a bit jaded regarding doctors, nurses and the office staff. i was eyeing the building a bit cautiously- it was nice, for one thing. the elevator even worked. the office suite was painted in calming colors, and fake foliage (but not the plastic tacky kind) was placed throughout the room. the nurse took us back to the standard white sterile room where we began the required waiting period- everyone knows this is true. 10 mins is the norm, 15 is doable (altho pushing it if you're trying to get back for a 1:30 meeting), but when the clock gets to 20, your eyes start rolling and you wished you had grabbed that US Weekly from the magazine rack.

however, this she immediately earned some of that time back. not only did she LOOK at some of my paperwork i had brought along in advance, but she actually read my Rx list itself, and walked into the room offering a recipe for "bowel regularity" (<-- i'm keeping this PC for all readers.) her special interest of neurology is MS and movement disorders, so the recipe is prescribed to many of her patients that battle with such problems. email me, and i'll hook you up. (note: it works as well as the "black magic" that we discovered during our January Girls Weekend 07, but goes down much easier!)

she introduced herself, and asked the same standard questions but then told me to start however i felt comfortable, perhaps a quick summary. (NOTHING regarding my medical history is "quick.") i explained to her that i had just relocated from DC since recent relapses and symptoms of my MS had left me unable to work and, unfortunately, care for myself on a day to day basis. i told her that i was looking for a neurologist that agrees with my current line of treatment (medication-wise being Tysabri), that would take me on as a patient, and help me get back to an independent level physically-speaking. that's easy enough, but then i had to start the dreaded "Meg's Life, Chapters 2004-2007," which judging from the white 3" binder i had with me, is quite a novel.

but what was different with her, vs. many doctors i have seen over the years, is that we were having a conversation. she wasn't drilling me with questions, she wasn't cutting me off in the middle of an explanation, we were simply talking. she was pleased that i was using the cane (sarcasm: oh i love those walking exercises they "test" you on.) we talked at length about my eyes- well, let me rephrase that. she shone her pen light at length in my eyes. seriously, i thought i was going to be blind the rest of my life!!!! i was thinking "you better have found something terribly wrong in that damn eye" and she just kept saying "just look at that spot on the wall" (it was PITCH BLACK in the room). we talked about my fatigue, and difficulty concentrating, as well the problems i have swallowing, and the ever embarrassing slurring of words.

but before i knew it, i was up to the present day- without making me feel rushed, or brushing off a single question or concern. (oh, and by the way, she did agree to take me on as a patient. must have been my charm!) afterwards, we did have a few questions... how many patients do you have on Tysabri? (10) have you seen MS patients in such severe and diffuse pain as Meg? (Yes. It's uncommon, but has seen it.) can MS patients suffer from Fibromylagia as well? (Yes. Has had a few patients that have both.) do you think Meg has Fibromyalgia in addition to her MS? (It could definitely be playing a role.) do you have many MS patients that are Meg's age? (No, most are in their middle age.) but... we had a couple blunt questions to finish up with, the decisions that seem to follow me everywhere.

Do you agree with the medications Meg is on- specifically the high dosage narcotics to treat her pain? Yes. I think you do what you have to do to get through the day. (this is where i brought up the harsh reaction and admonishment from an unnamed neurologist in williamsport. i loved her comment: what does he know? does he know what it's like?) Once the Tysabri starts kicking in, and we get your MS under control, we can then talk about lowering the dosage.

Are we doing the right thing? Meaning our treatment plan of Tysabri? Yes. While you're young, and you're healthy be as aggressive as you can be. I agree with hitting it hard while you can. (For those of you that don't know what Tysabri is, go ahead an google it, but i'm going to do a post on it in the next few days.) The reason I know this, is because I was diagnosed with MS when I was 23, in my first year of Medical School. I had gone completely blind in one eye and was terrified.

Our jaws hit the floor. There I was, looking at her- so smart, accomplished, clearly talented. And she has been there. She's felt everything that anyone with MS has at one time or another- terrified. She told me a few other tidbits of her life then, and her life now. And I felt that I was truly in the right place, and that I was going to be taken care of by a doctor that is not only qualified in the medical sense- but in the emotional sense as well.