a swell time

it would be an understatement to say that my feet was not feelin' my playtime escapades in washington, dc... turns out they retaliated on a MAJOR scale. i guess the saying is true- you do have to pay to play! hmmmm... did i butcher that quote? obviously my recovery from the 08 MS walk wkend isn't going quite as i had planned. while it is true that i am having a "swell" time since that fateful comatose afternoon, i use the word "swell" in the literal sense- a very literal sense. my feet had grown to the size of ripe melons- i even broke the straps on 2 pairs of shoes over the course of the weekend (that was painful enough, at least in a shallow, petty sense!) my toes had turned black & blue, with bruised creases bordering the folds of my toes from forcing my inflamed and puffy feet into my shoes. i had even dug the loosest pair of gramma ballet flats from downstairs in my basement shoe box but even THEY were cutting off my circulation.

(let me stop here and say yes, many of my male readers are going to be asking themselves the question..."hold the phone- don't girls hoard hundreds of pairs of shoes hidden in their closets, under their beds, and in their suitcases??" well here's the thing boys... they're only in ONE SIZE! we don't keep random sizes around for a rainy day, or a minor swelling epidemic that involves a high risk of a potentially fatal blood clot.)

this swelling "issue" began in early march, and let me give you a general idea of just how grossly over sized my ankles were... now, i can normally circle my ankle with my thumb and middle finger touching each other (just barely) on the other side. but over the past few weeks, the distance around that same wingspan has checked in at over 11"!! one of my specialized neurologists thought my anti-fatigue meds were the source- she tapered off the pills, but the hilary clinton cankles persevered. then another group of doctors thought one of my anti-seizure medications could be causing the problem. we switched up those pills, but the situation still didn't improve. (however, my tremors did, so turns out it wasn't a wasted effort!)

i did so many blood tests the undersiddes of my arms looked like those of a smack addict, and my internist even ordered a round of specialized vascular exams. the severity of the swelling would ebb and flow with the amount of pressure i put on my legs on any given day- it was obvious that days that were busier and therefore required more walking (i.e. going up to campus) increased the swelling. the most recent theory is that this is "just" an MS symptom, a rare one that they don't know a lot about how to treat, (really, is it too much to ask for a girl get a normal symptom one of these days?!), but that tends to emerge as a reaction to changes in seasonal temperatures and times of the year.

question. have any of you tried to walk on extremely swollen legs? it hurts like hell! (and i pride myself on not being a big baby- i tend to save my tears for more emotional, male-related drama.) with my trusty bright blue sidekick (btw i named him, finally- and yes, it's a boy this time... so, wait for it, wait for it,... grease lightning!!!) i attract enough quick looks of pity and guilty curiosity, not to mention the stares i get from abruptly shifting my weight from side to side in some acid-induced version of the jitterbug. i was told to stay off my feet as much as possible, and keep my legs constantly elevated (logistically this sounds easy, but try to do it for 1 hour- oh and make sure you answer the phone, put on makeup, and wash your face, along with the million other things that require your attention in the span of an hour.)

because of the crammed space issue i was having with my shoes (what could i do- show up to class in my favorite pair of leopard print slippers? that would be comfortable, but i'm no longer a sophomore in college. hello, i'm a professional, career oriented graduate student!), i developed open wounds in certain areas where the shoe would get stuck in the removal process (or in the original forcing technique.) by the time we got back to PA on sunday, my left foot was 2x the size of my right, and the open sore had developed an attractively menacing red irritated border.

after a few phone calls to my doctors, bargaining with my local internist for an emergency appointment, and multiple emails back and forth with my nurse, i was given a diuretic, a prescription for compression stockings, and an examination to dress the wound and check for infection. (WARNING, ENTERING TMI TERRITORY!) let me tell you- i think the price of getting that last minute appointment was the torture of draining the greenish yellow pus from my grossly inflamed lower extremities. the whole experience was about as pleasurable as i would imagine a root canal to be.

i have to admit that the underlying possibility of a blood clot has given me some mild hypochondriac tendencies. while i realize that i have an (at times) overly active imagination (it comes with my artistic brilliance), what i definitely do not have is hypochondriasis. (trust me, we just finished that chapter in my abnormal psych class, which makes me a complete authority on the subject.) however, i have seen enough cases of ER and COPS to know that if a blood clot travels upwards from your legs... you're done, might as well call the coroner right now.

so when i was removing my attractive compression knee highs this evening, i noticed a bright blue/purple round circle hovering near my ankle bone (which by the way, i hadn't seen that bone in MONTHS!). alert, alert, alert! i even chose to wake up my mother(which in turn woke up the fat cat, which in turn woke up the snoring dad- who when awoken abruptly starts spouting made up words that he is convinced sound like completely normal conversation) to alleviate my fears of dying in my sleep. i think my parting words to her were something like this... "well let's just hope i wake up in the morning!" wow, intense, right??

oh but wait, you are missing out on some quality background info on the sexy compression stockings. by the way, i am SO going to be ahead of the curve when we are all in our 80s- i will have been through every medical drama that exists and you will all be clamoring for my knowledge. (thankfully they are only knee highs- apparently my mother had to wear the full-on stockings when she was preggers with me, and it was total MISERY in the humidity of north carolina summers. clearly i was worth it- my words, not hers.)

first of all, they are a major turn-on for men- once you're aware of their existence, you will start to drool when you get within a 1 mile vicinity of a nursing home. secondly, they can stand up by themselves- how many pairs of your pantyhose can do that?? third, they suck up all that puffy, water-inflated excess like a hooooooooover vaccuuuuuuuum, and {{SNAP-SNAP}}, you have ankles that could rival your 17-year-old days of playing tennis in those cute little white dresses. however, the actual logistics of getting these babies on should require a phD in rocket science and come with a pop-up assistant.

as you can see from the photos above, the swelling HAS gone down dramatically, and i'm finally able to put light pressure on my left foot again. since the diuretic & stocking combo seemed to work so effectively, i'm hoping we're heading into the downside of this nasty little "bump" in the road. (that's what my nurse always calls my episodes- "you're just goin' through a rough spot, a little bump in the road!" ok, i don't know what kind of "bumps" she encounters on the road but i'd classify this as more like a freakin' backwards roller coaster.)

remember, you can view these postings directly on kit katchat's blog
http://meggerv2.blogspot.com/