these days my hangovers are a bit different. for one, they don't involve vacation flings, and bottles of wine are nowhere in sight. hangovers are those mornings when every crevice and corner of my entire body is throbbing and aching, rendering me listless and uncomfortable. even the most minute of tasks seem to last an eternity, and i can feel the painstaking movements involved in every single one. the day seems to be programmed on slow motion, and i find it hard to summon my usual happy nature. i don't have the energy to hold a book, let alone read the words. my eyes are even weak and fatigued- i can feel their resistance just to lift up in sight. hangovers mean my life has this plastic, dulled film over its surface.
if it's not obvious already, i'm up against a huge one today. the tremors and spasms started increasing on saturday night, and my speech became increasingly slurred throughout the remainder of the weekend. by this morning, all 3 reached their peak, and after becoming increasingly frustrated by my inability to pronounce simple words, i fell silent. (btw, falling silent at the beginning of the day isn't how it is supposed to work.) shrugging away a cup of coffee, mom helped me to draw a bath, and i gingerly lifted my sore body into the warm water- the heat immediately comforted my throbbing legs, and i gave a guarded sigh of relief. i leaned my head back against the decadent pillow pooja gave me for christmas last year, and tried to immerse as much of my body into the water as possible.
i closed my eyes and thought about how wonderful the holiday had been. emily & jason hill flew up from atlanta to spend thanksgiving with us. i had forgotten how carefree and happy emily makes me feel- and i doubt i'm the only one. she has this infectious laughter that you can't help but to giggle right along with her! oh, and when you are having a conversation with her, she gets this "pondering, thoughtful" expression on her face. you can almost see the wheels turning in her head as she comes up with suggestions.
i thought about how comforting it was to hear dad laugh as he and jason watched football together after the big meal. and speaking of her husband, jason and emily are such a complement to each other. as corny as it sounds, seeing them together kinda re-inflates my hopeless romantic optimism. (shhh, i have to protect my reputation.) i thought about jason mowing the back yard for my dad on saturday afternoon- since his surgery, we have had to rely on the kindness of neighbors for chores like that. i thought about the energy they brought to the house- for 4 days i was entertained by the stories of their grown up lives and the little outings we took together. mom, emily and i even did a little window shopping at the stores downtown, and warmed up over lattes at a cafe with artwork adorning the walls.
i woke up from my mini-reminiscing to wrinkled fingers, and little suds floating aimlessly where once fluffy bubbles perched above the water. (i hate the end of bubble baths.) the previously warm water was now cold, and i was dreading having to coax my body out of the tub and step onto the relentlessly hard floor. i could feel my body start to register the pain, but for some reason i was smiling as i shakily stood up and reached for a towel. thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday- i don't care for the food, but i love the feeling of family and friends being together. when emily and jason were leaving, i kept saying "thank you, thank you so much for coming, it means so much." i was getting to be a broken record, and grabbed em at least 3 times for "one last hug"- i hope she could feel all the other emotions involved in that simple gesture. i am so thankful for good friends. i truly hope i can return the favor one day.
now that i have typed this out, and tried to carve some sense of the garbled mess of today, i realized something. this hangover had all the requirements of its original definition! as difficult as today has been, the pain is a reminder of those few days of true friendship- and definitely worth the price.
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