"the family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape,

nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to."

(dodie smith)

we've been going-going-going at breakneck speed since our plane landed on thursday afternoon at san jose airport- rehearsal dinner on thursday night, ben & kristen's wedding and reception at testarossa vineyards (which btw, served a house chardonnay... insert drumroll... and i actually LIKED it! and i wasn't faking it either!) the birth of a new Morgensen (alexander kai), a morning-after brunch at the new in-laws (where apparently my aunt diane and cousin ben went in the pool completely clothed- and without force), a cookout at the rudy's, the infamous fish slideshow by uncle joe, fishing at half moon bay... and we're only 4 days into our visit!! i can't claim attendance at all the events, as i couldn't even bribe myself into making the morning after brunch or this afternoon's fishing expedition (although they didn't catch a damn thing- unless an innocent little starfish counts, the poor thing.)

but me? well, i spent the day recovering, huddled under the covers with ben-gay pain patches slapped across various parts of my body, downing pain pill after pain pill. it's official, i admit it- i had overdone it. but how often do i get to see this side of the family? not very much. and besides, we are here 9 days- i'm going to overdo it at LEAST once. i talked my own self off the ledge with this rationale, and the more times i repeated it, the less i felt guilty and isolated from the elusive good time that everyone else must have been having.

there have been some new stories etched in our family history over the past few days. a perfect opening example featured one of the unpredictable (aka under the age of 5) new Morgensen stars at the outdoor ceremony of my cousin ben & kristen's wedding friday night. as ben was reciting the vows that the officiator had been feeding him... i, ben ("i, ben")... take you, kristen ("take you kristen") as my--- but just everyone was getting appropriately teary eyed in expectation, out of "you could hear a pin drop" silence, a high-pitched squeal adamantly interrupted the peaceful moment. "NO BEN! DON'T SAY THAT!!!!!" i turned around to see little tuxedo-clad joey (my cousin autumn's 3~ish year old son) on his knees, his knuckles gripping the back of the folding chair and a look of pure fear on his face. priceless, completely priceless- thank god we caught THAT one on tape!

sunday afternoon, some family friends of my aunt & uncle invited the WHOLE Morgensen clan (well, at least the ones who were outstaying their welcome, us included) over for swimming and bbq'ing. it was your stereotypical california moment- the weather was perfect with a clear blue sky, dotted by puffs of white clouds, the sun was just warm enough (and of course no humidity), the soft green grass was cut close and perfectly even, and the backyard was bordered by lime, grapefruit and lemon trees. (i admit it, i asked if they were real. but seriously, we don't see that back home!! we get our fruit from walmart or whole foods!)

with adorable nathan and joey (again, autumn's boys) screeching with glee and hilariously jumping on my poor brother (who towers over them at 6'5"), i couldn't resist jumping into the fun. ok, so i didn't exactly jump, but i did strip down to my swim suit (one which hadn't seen the light of day since it was bought 2 years ago!) and waded into the water. and it being that perfect CA movie stereotype, the water was a perfectly comfortable and soothing 83-degrees. within seconds of getting in the pool, i felt like my old self- i could swim, and walk, and even pull the kids around with me. it was one of those moments you wish you could sear into your memory. i kept shouting to my parents like an 8 year old- "dad, dad, dad! look at me! mom, look!!" i was so proud of myself, i kept swimming back and forth, across and back, toting nathan to and from the deep end, and playing keep away with the beach ball (which turned into a game of hurling the ball at my brother's head repeatedly.)

another hilarious "insider family" joke example was my cousin jenny's decision to get into the pool in her 2 piece bathing suit. let's put it this way- she has some "decoration" down her right side that isn't exactly G-rated. in fact, i think it might be R-rated (is nudity allowed in PG-13?). i had promised her i'd divert attention if she came out of the water suddenly, or her bikini straps revealed a portion of the design, but instead i found the whole situation hysterically funny, and was NO help in being lookout. besides, the boys were clinging to her like baby monkeys and were more concerned with being dunked into the deep end than to judge her "accessories."

last night, i awoke with some searing pain in my face (damn pesky TN!) and found myself debating the pros and cons of going downstairs to find some frozen veggies that would double as an ice pack. pro- i might actually get a few hours of sleep if i could numb my cheeks. con- i could trip and fall over the balcony, landing on the first floor with a broken back (i've been having spells of intense vertigo- the floor literally looks slanted, at a 45-degree angle.) i finally decided that risking death was worth some relief from the stabbing pain in my jaw, and hugged the wall as i approached the stairs.

i paused in confusion, for it sounded like someone was vacuuming... whoooooooooooooooosh. but who in the hell would vacuum at 2 in the morning, so the likelihood was slim. another sound was attempting to harmonize with the vacuum, but this one was a high-pitched train screeeeeeeeech- like the one you hear when Amtrak brakes at the upcoming station. turns out these sounds were in fact "snores", and they were coming from not ONLY my father, but his BROTHER as well- one from the left side of the house, the other from the right. between the two of them, they had the entire house shaking with their breathing irregularities. thank god that trait wasn't passed down to me, or any future relationships would be quite brief.

allow me a small departure from anecdotes to some deeper thoughts. i feel strongly that there is something innately and uniquely comfortable about family. now, before you get all riled up about this, i will state for the record that i, of all people, understand the drama that can come with family gatherings, or just family in general- the historic squabbles among adult siblings, decade-old grudges from ancient disagreements, personality "quirks" or eccentricities that bring out the worst sides to your own character, bitterness over unpaid debts, secret successes and failures, underlying tension and awkwardness that permeates certain stretches of conversation.

but the comfort comes into the picture from moments like the ones i shared above. it's evident when you're welcomed with arms outstretched by family members you haven't seen in 4 or 5 years, and even some you've never met before. these are people that have heard the same stories, have shared the same experiences, who have laughed over the same memories- they're part of your very own piece of history, a reminder that you're part of something bigger than yourself. those thoughts alone are comforting, and their presence itself is priceless.

i never grew up around an endless number of relatives at sunday dinners, ballet recitals, awards programs, birthday parties, graduation, prom dress shopping, church services... i have always been (and still am) quite jealous of those of you that have grown up in such an environment. any of these would have required nothing less than a private jet to criss cross around the country gathering and depositing grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles to states as far west as california and as far north as illinois. it was a special (and rare) occasion to have family around for thanksgiving or christmas traditions.

so that sense of special occasion when everyone is together is one that i continue to carry with me into adulthood, and our current trip to california is nothing less. during this trip, i have found myself at a crossroads of where i "fit" into our extended (and ever-growing) family tree. when you are a kid, your cousins and yourself are usually the center of attention at family gatherings- especially when the grandparents alive, it's like the circle of history is continuing on with the passage of time.

but as we've gotten older, our family has expanded into second cousins, grandkids that have been replaced by the new generation, great aunts, uncles that have transitioned into grandparents... for me, it was a strange transition at first. my "place" as a grandkid had been erased, so where did i fit in? but watching my cousins' children grow into these little talking, walking, hilarious people brings a whole new element into this thing we call family. it again proves hat we are part of something bigger than ourself, and that no matter how different we may be from one another, we will always have a place in which to belong.

remember, you can view these postings directly on kitkat chat's blog

http://meggerv2.blogspot.com/