6.11.2008

human pincushion

it's official. i am a walking, breathing, talking, fleshy, giant pincushion- complete w/ mismatched thread colors and sporadic needle points. whoever guessed i must have just given myself the infamous daily shot is simply BRILLIANT!!! in fact, just today i was thinking that my body is holding a protest against the injections... and not exactly passive and peaceful ones, which everyone knows are how the effective protests are run. (i must not have gotten the memo.)

resistance first comes in a stinging sensation very similar to a bee sting or a sharp splinter. after a few minutes, sharp, pin pricks of pain break out around the area, almost like red ants are being held captive underneath my skin. a bright pink rash spreads out to cover a 1-2" diameter of the swollen injection location that is surprisingly itchy. once those protesters tire, small, sore lumps of flesh take shape- it feels like there is a pebble or rock underneath the skin. eventually, a longer lasting veteran appears to see it through- a lavender & teal colored bruise spanning out greedily against a backdrop of veins and pale (almost glow in the dark!) skin.

about the only thing i look forward to in this nightly ritual (other than it just being over) is the capping of the needle and watching the quantity of syringes in my fancy, state-of-the-art, sharps container multiply in number. (ok, so technically it's a recycled, plastic lysol wipes jar, but "sharps container" makes me sound quite professional.) not to mention the sheer quantity of needles makes me look totally hard core, which is a nice bonus. then again, unless you were snooping around my bathroom, you would never come across the syringe stash in the first place- and if you were snooping around my bathroom, that would just be... weird. not to mention rude.

so tonight i stood in front of the mirror, analyzing the number of battle wounds i've accumulated just this week alone... the number of out-of-sight areas are decreasing, which isn't exactly conducive to summer wardrobe attire. what i'm referring to are special "hiding places"- areas where the skin is always covered up, no matter how little clothing i happen to be wearing- i usually use a bikini or yoga attire as a measuring stick. (oooh, speaking of, that's another pet peeve of mine- yoga outfits. why are they all so tight? and skimpy? when my body is contorting in all directions the last thing i want is my flab hanging and poking out of the strappy areas in my yogi getup! ok meg, focus, you are getting off topic.)

i tend to favor my left back hip area, as this area has been numb for over a year (is that considered cheating?) unfortunately, it's becoming savvy to my sly ploy, and retaliating by developing nasty lumpy nodules that are lasting a good week or two in existence. unsatisfied with the lack of potential injection sites, and getting more stressed out by the minute (if i stall too long in giving myself the shot, the beginnings of a panic/anxiety episode can start to appear), i went with the standby, the back left thigh, regardless of its ability to peacefully tolerate recent treatments. making the preemptive grimace that involves cirque du soleil contortions of my facial muscles, i jammed the needle into the soft flesh, gritted my teeth and counted to ten. after i hit 10, i let out a sigh of relief and extract the syringe from my poor, overused thigh. great, i had hit a vein- blood was pouring out pretty steadily. i guess this wasn't going to go over well.

maybe i should open up my own psychic hotline b/c sure enough, only a few moments later the troops were rallied and a protest was underway. damn it hurt... and itched... and burned... damn, damn, damn these injections. come on john and sally york, put your fancy biomedical engineering research skills to use and create a pill i can swallow to get this medicine!!! van, marylee, emma- you're doctors, work on this in your spare time! (hah, spare time, like medical students know what that word is.) anyway, thanks for joining me for tonight's episode of "meg gives herself a shot".

until next time,
m3, your favorite medical malady bloggette

remember, you can view these postings directly on kitkat chat's blog
http://meggerv2.blogspot.com/

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